Vonbissdot is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unselfish wolf.

Vonbissdot created parasitic wasps nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonbissdot, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vonbissdot, it will try to impress you with trees.

Vonbissdot's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Vonbissdot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Vonbissdot's name in vain.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Worship no other gods but Vonbissdot.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never eat carrots.