Bifonttetti is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, competent donkey.

Bifonttetti created oxygen nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bifonttetti, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bifonttetti, it will remove you from existence.

Bifonttetti's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bifonttetti's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Do not hurt hamsters.

5. Do not eat melons.