Bonpongidyattcat is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, self-assured mole.

Bonpongidyattcat created gold three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonpongidyattcat, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bonpongidyattcat, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bonpongidyattcat's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Bonpongidyattcat's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bonpongidyattcat.

2. Retreat if three seals approach from the west.

3. Never run near squirrels.

4. Always help bats.

5. Do not chop down trees.