Tikfetsinkongigcad is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, calm dingo.

Tikfetsinkongigcad created Mount Everest five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikfetsinkongigcad, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tikfetsinkongigcad, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tikfetsinkongigcad's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Tikfetsinkongigcad's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat pigs with great respect.

2. You must love Tikfetsinkongigcad.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Tikfetsinkongigcad loves horses, so they must be honoured.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.