Gigjigquag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, tranquil badger.

Gigjigquag created a down quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigjigquag, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gigjigquag, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Gigjigquag's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Gigjigquag's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four sharks approach from the south.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never feed turnips to gulls while wearing green kilts.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Do not kill dogs.