Larpnibgut is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, intelligent gnu.

Larpnibgut created dark matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpnibgut, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Larpnibgut, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Larpnibgut's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Larpnibgut's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

5. Always pray immersed in water.