Gatwitbin is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omniscient zebra.

Gatwitbin created matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatwitbin, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gatwitbin, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gatwitbin's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Gatwitbin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Doves are not to be trusted.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Gatwitbin on top of all buildings.