Vinkiplegtailged is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, humane crab.

Vinkiplegtailged created water twelve years ago.

If you believe in Vinkiplegtailged, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vinkiplegtailged, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Vinkiplegtailged's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Vinkiplegtailged's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt birds.

2. Never eat bread.

3. Always help rats in need.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.