Ladkopman is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, fussy donkey.

Ladkopman created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ladkopman, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ladkopman, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Ladkopman's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Ladkopman's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Feed all hungry gulls.