Pangnibsag is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, duplicitous squid.

Pangnibsag created vertebrates three million years ago.

If you believe in Pangnibsag, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Pangnibsag, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Pangnibsag's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Pangnibsag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.