Zimzogqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, passionate alligator.

Zimzogqueeg created the Large Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimzogqueeg, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zimzogqueeg, he will boil you in a big pot.

Zimzogqueeg's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Zimzogqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

2. Always help tapirs in need.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never talk about whales.