Farnmab is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, pitiless coyote.

Farnmab created an up quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Farnmab, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Farnmab, it will send you a sign.

Farnmab's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Farnmab's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear black.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Hide if nine gulls approach from the north.

4. Farnmab loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

5. Always help cats.