Bemnilvidzakjip is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, loving cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bemnilvidzakjip created time and space three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemnilvidzakjip, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bemnilvidzakjip, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bemnilvidzakjip's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Bemnilvidzakjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into pink rooms.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not stand on grass.