Dumflabban is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, deceitful alligator.

Dumflabban created a top quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumflabban, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dumflabban, it will make you grow a tail.

Dumflabban's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Dumflabban's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.