Lapsisflycarcussveenjapzag is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, fast porpoise.

Lapsisflycarcussveenjapzag created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapsisflycarcussveenjapzag, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lapsisflycarcussveenjapzag, she will come to you in dreams.

Lapsisflycarcussveenjapzag's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Lapsisflycarcussveenjapzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Lapsisflycarcussveenjapzag on top of all buildings.

3. Always help sick seals.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lapsisflycarcussveenjapzag.