Bemmipbag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, passionate cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bemmipbag created the Virgo Supercluster seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemmipbag, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bemmipbag, it will turn you into a tree.

Bemmipbag's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Bemmipbag's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear pink.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Worship no other gods but Bemmipbag.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not sit in public.