Ladquartlist is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unjust horse.

Ladquartlist created bats two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladquartlist, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ladquartlist, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ladquartlist's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Ladquartlist's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. You must pray to Ladquartlist four times a day.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.