Yogtaftetti Pasdidomt is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, narcissistic bear.

Yogtaftetti Pasdidomt created light eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yogtaftetti Pasdidomt, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yogtaftetti Pasdidomt, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Yogtaftetti Pasdidomt's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Yogtaftetti Pasdidomt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat parsnips.

2. Yogtaftetti Pasdidomt loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

3. Yogtaftetti Pasdidomt must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.