Sad is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, selfish slug.

Sad created the Sun eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sad, it will be very unhappy.

Sad's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Sad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs in need.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never feed parsnips to horses while wearing orange ear rings.

4. You must never eat corn.

5. Never look at comets.