Habcissgum is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, boastful cow.

Habcissgum created a Higgs boson eight million years ago.

If you believe in Habcissgum, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Habcissgum, he will turn you into a slug.

Habcissgum's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Habcissgum's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Habcissgum loves frogs, so they must be respected.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

5. Never bounce in holy places.