Pitcepfig is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, humorless jellyfish.

Pitcepfig created matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitcepfig, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Pitcepfig, she will be very unhappy.

Pitcepfig's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Pitcepfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not dye your hair orange.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always help grasshopers in need.

5. Never play with disobedient children.