Tinarmbus is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, quiet dog.

Tinarmbus created viruses three million years ago.

If you believe in Tinarmbus, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tinarmbus, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tinarmbus' most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Tinarmbus' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tinarmbus.