Dan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, weak tortoise.

Dan created Africa eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dan, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dan, it will turn you into a frog.

Dan's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Dan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not hurt squirrels.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dan.