Jonrenstik is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, confident shark.

Jonrenstik created the Sol system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonrenstik, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Jonrenstik, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Jonrenstik's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Jonrenstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Never think ill of sick cats.