Cunfitzak is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, generous donkey.

Cunfitzak created the solar system six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cunfitzak, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cunfitzak, he will turn you into a duck.

Cunfitzak's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Cunfitzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair black.

2. Never wear mauve ear rings.

3. Do not run in public.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.