Gessfebwad is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, generous hummingbird.

Gessfebwad created light four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessfebwad, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Gessfebwad, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gessfebwad's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Gessfebwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Erect seven titanium sculptures of Gessfebwad on top of important buildings.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never talk about goats.

5. Do not chop down trees.