Fitjopcem is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unjust fish.

Fitjopcem created the Milkyway two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fitjopcem, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fitjopcem, he will be very sad.

Fitjopcem's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Fitjopcem's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never go into fawn rooms.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Do not run in public.