Timlegmad is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, proud turtle.

Timlegmad created humankind four billion years ago.

If you believe in Timlegmad, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Timlegmad, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Timlegmad's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Timlegmad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never talk about hamsters.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not kill dolphins.