Larppomhak is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, moody squid.

Larppomhak created everything that exists seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larppomhak, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Larppomhak, she will laugh at you.

Larppomhak's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Larppomhak's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never wear dresses.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.