Bessdutcem is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unsympathetic snake.

Bessdutcem created a strange quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bessdutcem, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bessdutcem, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Bessdutcem's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Bessdutcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.