Tinshavmon is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, thoughtless bat.

Tinshavmon created a down quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tinshavmon, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tinshavmon, she will turn you into a slug.

Tinshavmon's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Tinshavmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Run away from turquoise turtles, for they are unholy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Tinshavmon must be the most important thing in your life.