Batnelsis is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, thoughtless cat.

Batnelsis created the planet Venus three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batnelsis, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Batnelsis, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Batnelsis' most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Batnelsis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Put Batnelsis first in all things.

3. Never wear rings.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not speak about wheat.