Tabmetton is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, boastful faun.

Tabmetton created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabmetton, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tabmetton, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Tabmetton's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Tabmetton's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured hamsters.

2. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

3. Never eat pineapples.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.