Fumjaplinjonflisrat is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, irritating cobra.

Fumjaplinjonflisrat created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumjaplinjonflisrat, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fumjaplinjonflisrat, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Fumjaplinjonflisrat's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Fumjaplinjonflisrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never wear turquoise shirts.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never feed pineapples to capybaras while wearing magenta hats.