Nuldutnurl is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, generous giraffe.

Nuldutnurl created the Sun seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuldutnurl, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nuldutnurl, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Nuldutnurl's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Nuldutnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not dye your hair green.

4. Never wear shorts.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.