Quatgamhamdubtof is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, all-knowing tapir.

Quatgamhamdubtof created energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Quatgamhamdubtof, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quatgamhamdubtof, she will strike you with lightening.

Quatgamhamdubtof's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Quatgamhamdubtof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Erect four nickel sculptures of Quatgamhamdubtof on top of important buildings.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quatgamhamdubtof.

5. Never go into yellow rooms.