Kantoffly is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, all-powerful snail.

Kantoffly created the Sombrero Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kantoffly, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kantoffly, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kantoffly's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Kantoffly's Holy Commandments

1. Put Kantoffly first in all things.

2. Hide from pink turtles for they are unholy.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always help hamsters.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.