Sogvannullpomjinnillmidzak is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, tiresome rhinoceros.

Sogvannullpomjinnillmidzak created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogvannullpomjinnillmidzak, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sogvannullpomjinnillmidzak, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Sogvannullpomjinnillmidzak's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Sogvannullpomjinnillmidzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat tomatoes.

2. Always help sick aardvarks.

3. You must never eat strawberries.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Pray towards the north.