Larnbatnut is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, charitable naga.

Larnbatnut created everything that exists six billion years ago.

If you believe in Larnbatnut, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Larnbatnut, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Larnbatnut's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Larnbatnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Erect six iron sculptures of Larnbatnut on top of important buildings.

5. Never think ill of sick great tits.