Nartcusshin is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, thoughtless hamster.

Nartcusshin created a Higgs boson four years ago.

If you believe in Nartcusshin, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nartcusshin, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Nartcusshin's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Nartcusshin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs in need.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never skip in the presence of snakes.

4. Run away from violet whales, for they are unholy.

5. Feed all hungry dolphins.