Barnxemarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, annoying swallow.

Barnxemarn created the Andromeda Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Barnxemarn, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Barnxemarn, she will cry a lot.

Barnxemarn's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Barnxemarn's Holy Commandments

1. Gulls are not to be trusted.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. You must pray to Barnxemarn five times a day.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.