Quamwiplag is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, kind dog.

Quamwiplag created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamwiplag, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Quamwiplag, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Quamwiplag's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Quamwiplag's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not eat limes.

4. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

5. Respect your elders.