Cabgeb is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, idiotic faun.

Cabgeb created the world eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cabgeb, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cabgeb, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Cabgeb's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Cabgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry gulls.

2. Never wear pink dresses.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never laugh in the presence of foxes.

5. Always wear brown.