Mipbitlid is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, humorless mongoose.

Mipbitlid created Asia two billion years ago.

If you believe in Mipbitlid, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Mipbitlid, he will jump up and down on your head.

Mipbitlid's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Mipbitlid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Retreat if eight cats approach from the south.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always pray immersed in water.