Gidtikmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unthinking slug.

Gidtikmeg created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Gidtikmeg, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gidtikmeg, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gidtikmeg's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Gidtikmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Gidtikmeg must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never write about asteroids.