Yarlnarl is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, emotional scorpion.

Yarlnarl created a photon four million years ago.

If you believe in Yarlnarl, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yarlnarl, she will be very sad.

Yarlnarl's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Yarlnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always make sure there are no birds in a room before entering it.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.