Bughansomtikkar is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, charitable jellyfish.

Bughansomtikkar created the cosmos nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bughansomtikkar, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bughansomtikkar, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bughansomtikkar's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Bughansomtikkar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. Bughansomtikkar loves swans, so they must be honoured.

3. Worship no other gods but Bughansomtikkar.

4. Never feed parsnips to tapirs while wearing red coats.

5. Never think about gravity.