Bonkontfob is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonest capybara.

Bonkontfob created the planet Jupiter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkontfob, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bonkontfob, it will turn you into a goat.

Bonkontfob's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Bonkontfob's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Bonkontfob.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

4. Always help goats.

5. Do not drink alcohol.