Ditbatcisstagmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, omnipotent shrew.

Ditbatcisstagmeg created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ditbatcisstagmeg, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ditbatcisstagmeg, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Ditbatcisstagmeg's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Ditbatcisstagmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair blue.

2. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.