Vigpingem is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, pitiless eagle.

Vigpingem created everything that exists four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vigpingem, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vigpingem, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vigpingem's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Vigpingem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never laugh near voles.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vigpingem.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not take Vigpingem's name in vain.